katie

SIT UP STRAIGHT AND STOP CUSSING
I’ve been reading a lot of blogs written by single women lately, and a common theme seems to be a desire for men to be more chivalrous and respectful. Simple things like asking a women out to dinner rather than suggesting she come over to “hang” out. Making a reservation. Taking her to a party where people are not drinking from red plastic cups. Paying for dinner. Not peeing against a tree on the walk home. Going in for a tender, but not too tender, goodnight kiss. Following up with phone call the next day.
I agree with all of these points (especially the red plastic cups and peeing part), and I think regular old boyfriends should heed the same advice.
But the articulation of these desires in blogs is full of bratty language and profanity and vulgarity. My point: How do we expect men to behave like “gentlemen” if we aren’t behaving like “ladies”? Of course a woman on a date with a man who pees on trees, gets drunk, and doesn’t pay may not care about being ladylike (and why should she? this is reciprocal), but isn’t it reasonable for men, if we want them to be gentlemanly, to want us to have some manners and grace?  Men give more leeway here, but they notice when women are slouching and sneering, or whiny (I call this the shit-smeared-on-the-upper-lip look), or entitled, and they shouldn’t be expected to reward this. My sense is that nice, respectful guys are not interested in women who, for no other reason than the fact of their sex, feel they should necessarily be fawned over. We shouldn’t make demands of their manners if we’re ill-mannered ourselves.